How to Find Your Theme

Sometimes it's about what you have planned for since you were a little girl and sometimes it is based on your creativity. Mine was based on what was in front of me. I was never a person who dreamt about my wedding and had big ideas about what I want and must have. I was opposite. Every since opening my business, everyone always asked me, "You must have been planning your wedding for years and want to help others." And that was so far from what my truth was. I got into the business because I love planning parties and am extremely organized. I have a very creative brain that has been doing engineer work for a long time. I got sucked into Wedding TV shows and went to a few weddings that I thought could have used some help. So, I decided to use my creative and organized brains and go to work.

This is true when picking a theme, and we all have a theme. Whether it's shabby chic or modern elegance, it is still a theme. Some people go with a more dramatic presentation of a theme, like myself. So here is my process for picking our theme:

Carlos and I are pretty dramatic, we met doing theatre, We also love movies. He worked at a movie theater once and I was a film major in college. So, we knew from the start that some of those elements may creep their way in. Our first order of business was finding the reception space. I knew I wanted a more northern type wedding with a sit down dinner and open bar. I also knew from doing so many weddings that I didn't want to deal with rentals and having to do a lot of set up and tear down on our part. I do that all the time and it is not my favorite part of the job, especially when the bride and groom have to chip in. We also knew that we loved the "downtown" feel, being on a rooftop or overlooking Nashville. So we stuck to either downtown venues or one's up in the air. The first one out of the box was perfect. It was a hotel close to downtown with a Penthouse ballroom with a patio overlooking downtown Nashville.
Now this is how we chose our theme. Since I am  penny pincher, I asked questions about what is included like tables, chair and linens. They offered black or white linens and napkins and the chairs were red. Boom! I already pictured it, black table coverings with white napkins folded and draped with the red chairs with only red flowers and centerpiece.

Then it all fell into place. We wanted to do come really dramatic engagement photos using a Film Noir theme. These photos were used in our save the date cards that set the tone and theme for all that was to come.

So start early and set the tone. It really doesn't take much to have a theme. But don't get overwhelmed by a lot of ideas. It is really hard to have a hiking, dog, movie, modern theme. Keep it simple, keep it relevant to the couple and make sure that you can keep it in budget. Our save the date postcards were made on vistaprint and were free for 100 of them. We had to only pay for the artwork to be placed which was about $1.49 per picture. Some great themes are Old Hollywood/Movie (which we used), Beach theme(especially if you are on a beach, go with that theme) a color theme(use a color to describe your theme), a location theme(like where you are from, where you live or a favorite place), a hobby theme(like sports or music). Everything falls into place when you have a goal.

Our Wedding Featured in Ashley's Bridal Guide

Check out a blog of our wedding featured in Ashley's Bridal Guide.

I was so excited to share our wedding with our Nashville wedding community, especially with Ashley. We have met on several occasions and love her blog and site.

Being A Guest at a Wedding

This week I am taking a break from being the bride and planner and went on a week long wedding adventure, My husbands long time friend and groomsman in our wedding, Michael, got married to Courtney in the Outer Banks, NC. The had started planning for their wedding in May of 2010 and settled on what was an idea that was not only a great vacation, but a beautiful wedding. They rented a house in Corolla, Outer Banks, which is in the Northern part. The house was huge and was called The Ritz Palm.

It had 9 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms and 3 half baths and sleeps 28 people. Not only did more that 28 people stay there (kids slept on air mattresses in parents bedrooms), but this was the location for the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception with the ceremony on the beach that connected to the house.
Now, to being the guest part. You have to understand that being a guest at a wedding like this you understand full well that you will also be asked to help in any way possible and we all did without a bat of the eye. Now, this may not work for those who have family or friends that do not get along, but this couple truly have people who love and care about them. What we did as guests: The guys, especially 2, made the funfetti cake.

 A few girls staying at the house set up tables with linens including 2 high beach tables in the pool (1 foot area). Guys set up chairs and sound system on beach, while I came over and set up the remaining chairs around the tables for dinner around the pool area. I also made sure certain things were set up correctly and was there to help in any way. I just couldn't not help, I am a wedding planner. I also organized the beach chair transport to pool area. The food was fun and appropriate. Mini-sliders and chicken fingers with sweet potato fries and au gratin potatoes and pasta salad. Drinks were beer and wine and soda and lemonade. It was the perfect beach wedding. At the end of the night everyone chipped in and tore down the tables, chairs, centerpieces and set up the pool area to how it was originally.
The couple were appreciative of everyone's hard work and the guests were so happy to be able to be a part of it. The week did have some stresses for the couple as well as the parents. With so many people staying in a house, they didn't have any alone time or time to think about anything. But the family executed a fun filled week of activities including a couples shower followed by bachelor and bachelorette parties, a Princess and Pirate Pizza Birthday Party for mother of groom and best man, and  a shrimp boil rehearsal dinner. Over all a great week away to share with friends and family.

What Next!

Even though my schedule got too busy too keep this blog up and running, I wanted to come back and really go over with a fine tooth comb my experiences. It is very important to me that brides in particular understand that there is no perfect wedding. Even being a planner and owning my own company, things just can't go as you expect them to go.

Don't get me wrong, my wedding was perfect to me. It was everything I wanted it to be, but because of the times we live in and economic issues facing us, some things just can't happen. Or what your job is, or mine as a planner, is to come up with the most economic and creative way to pull it off.

So, I will in the future be more vigilant about not only coming back around to my own wedding planning experience but bring you my new adventures in building up my clients again and relaunching in a way, the new Debbie and what I expect out of my business.

As I was overwhelmed with my own wedding, holding down a full time job and trying to not only be the planner but the bride, I got myself involved in another venture that has been a great fit for me. A few years back I did a series of "How To" videos based on wedding planning. I think there are some 30-40 out there. My last series was done at the Belmont Mansion in Nashville, TN. I saw a post on Facebook from the Director of Weddings that he was looking for an event coordinator and I jumped at the opportunity. Not the best timing, but it has been amazing none the less. Right before my wedding on August 27th, I received a phone call saying I was promoted. I am not the Assistant Director of Weddings and Events at Belmont Mansion.

So, from here on out, I will do my best to update my blog and make sure I have helpful times to make your wedding as special as mine.

Just Ask

This week has been filled with trying to get some details sorted out. Rentals. Even though I was hoping not to deal with this and booked my reception at a hotel for that reason, I do not want to deal with rentals. The hotel does have bistro tables and linens but they charge way too much. Having relationships with companies and signing up on mailing lists have helped me though this process. 

So this brings me to "Just Ask". There is  never any harm in just asking for something. In this rough economy, people would rather make some money than no money. My experience has always been to ask. I had a $50 off of rentals coupon with a $150 minimum. Well I only needed 7 bistros and 2 small tables. Not quite $150, but I needed them delivered. So I asked if they would include the delivery fee in the minimum and they did. That way it freed me up to get my 20% discount on linens from a company I use. I also had to ask for that, but I have been a long time client. 

Another "Just Ask" moment was when we needed "Engagement" photos. We really needed pictures for the save the date cards which have a film noir theme. I asked my friend who is a videographer and has a ton of cool photos to do the shoot. We use our camera and did it at his house. I loved the photos so much I have used them on our wedding website and in our guest sign in book. I may even use them someplace else.  All that cost was taking him to dinner.

Sometimes you just have to ask about things that don't seem like they were ever included in the first talk to a vendor. Our reception location snuck in a $500 room rental charge. No one told me about that at the initial meeting. So when we signing the contract, I told them that. I was polite and told them that I was never informed about a rental fee. We thought since we hit you minimum with catering, a room rentals fee is not necissary. It was waived. 

Some more "just ask" moments happened with my baker, florist, alterations person, wedding planner and photographer.

Baker- Told her the budget and we came up with a great way for everyone to have dessert and have a really nice cake.

Florist- A very good friend. I told her I want to use her, all I need to do is pay for the flowers.

Alterations person- I worked on her wedding and she offered any help she could, I am taking her up on that.

Wedding Planner- My teacher. I asked if she was available and she offered her help for free.

Photographer- I gave her my budget and we were able to come up with a plan even under our budget.

So the moral of the story is, whether you have an "in" into the industry or not, just ask. You may be able to barter your skills for theirs. People may surprise you especially when you are polite and have done your homework.

Things coming together.

Wow! It has really been a while since I have written something and there is a reason for that, I been crazy busy! On a side note, not only and I a Wedding Planner, planning my own wedding, but have a full time job as an audio engineer for syndicated country radio and do theatre. So the the last few months I was involved in a musical appropriately titled "The Wedding Singer". I also had Country Radio Seminar.

Back to the planning. So as of now, we still do not have a church to hold our ceremony, but am hopeful that in the next few weeks that will all come together. Being Catholic, there is one major rule you must adhere to:

You must be Catholic to get married in the Catholic Church. Easy enough, right? Yes, except when you live in the south and there are only a handful of Catholic Churches and they are all booked. That is the problem. They would like you to get married in your parish, but I am kinda parishless. I moved to a different part of town and never registered at a different church. So the problem is, we don't have a "home church" that we can get married in. One church is very willing to have us if there is not a Titan's Football Pre-season game. Well, is there even a season. Totally messing things up. Next,  the other church that we love is under some weird circumstances. It is located downtown and has a very low membership and the priest is difficult. So they may close and if they don't they are charging an absurd amount of money to rent the church. But luckily, we have a Deacon on our side that is the Bishop's right hand man. 

Connections!!!!

So that's that for now. In other news we did a cake tasting and we are all booked for not only our cake but an array of amazing desserts including canoli's. The baker doesn't even make them, but she know a great place and will get them for us. How great is that! 

Rentals are still in the works. Just need a few tables and lines, but really want the best price. In the end there may be a $50 difference from one place to another, but convenience my trump here.

My reception dress was made and is a little snug, so I have been hitting the gym. Also go my shoes which I have been breaking in. Still never going to be tall enough next to Carlos, but every bit helps.

Lastly, our Engagement Party is this weekend. It should be fun, but not knowing what is going on is killing me. I have set up two registries that may be interesting if you don't need a lot of items, but money. Myresgistry.com is a place where you can set up for cash in a nice way making funds. We have one for a renovation  that we put off on the house. You can also download a button to your computer to register for gifts from other stores. So if you like a vacuum from target, add it, but you like luggage form amazon, link it. It keeps all  registries in one place. The other is honeyfund.com. It is a place where guests can contribute to your honeymoon and feel like they helped make it happen. We are going on a cruise so we have different price points and things to pay for like airfare, cruise, hotel, excursions, dinner, etc. Both are great alternatives to the normal registries. 

What? I have a budget?

Being a wedding planner, I understand that budget is everything, that looming number that you try your darndist to keep close to. You find a great deal somewhere, you cut something for another, you make compromises. The hardest part of planning a wedding is keeping to that number, and hardest part of being a planner planning her own wedding is making it look like a Cadillac, but on a Kia budget.

The one thing you don't get planning someone else's wedding is the family and spending your own money. This has been incredibly difficult for me to try and make the best wedding ever and keep to a budget that is already over inflated. Just a little insight, I am a Italian/Irish Catholic from New York. If you know what kind of people I am talking about, we will not be having a typical Nashville wedding with BBQ at a barn. So when I say over inflated budget, I mean too much for a simple person like me. My family feels I am being too simple and want things that are just not necissary, but cool.

So the planing process continues and has taken over my entire life. My checklist is a million pages long, but checking things off every day. Trying to remember, make it special to us.

Booked so far are the Hilton Garden Inn for the reception, the DJ including Karaoke, and my reception dress is being made.  Save the Dates are being processed and will go out soon. Joint bank account is open for us to contribute to each month. Wedding Website is done as well as the Cash Registry. (Come back later on this).

On the docket this week are, choose a photographer, cake and meet with a Deacon at the Catholic Diocese.

So here is the moral of the story, you need a budget. Try hard to stick to it and always remember things do cost more than you think. You think you can a get a photographer for $1500, think again. Cake for $350, nice try. Dinner and open bar for under $100 per person, think again. Even a backyard wedding costs a lot. Don't get stresses, just know that thousands of people get married ever year and you are just one bride, special to your family and friends, but not to vendors.

The Pinkbook - We're Engaged!

The Pinkbook - We're Engaged!

Setting the Date

It started out so sweet. A few days of bliss in the foothills of the North Carolina mountains. We were so secretive about the engagement since we wanted to bask in in for a while. Our family know that day, but we waited a few days to make the official announcement via phone and facebook. That is so funny to me because I honestly can't think how I would tell everyone without facebook or e-mail.

We thought it would be great to set the date as 9/10/11, but turns out so does everyone else. The date is one of those questions that I have always asked couples but never realized how annoying it is. I don't know 2 days after what date the wedding will be. Give me a chance to slow down and think before I pick a date. And to be honest, it was the most stressful part of the entire process so far. The average time to plan a wedding is 1 year. Well, my schedule for 9 months was getting shorter and shorter by the day. We had to get a church (We are Catholic, well I am). Nashville does not house many Catholic Churches and seems like the ones we have were already book for all of September and October. Then finding the reception venue that will correspond with a church date.

After 2 weeks of phone calls, visiting venues and begging, we set a date. Now, we went from Sept 10 to Sept 24 with a hold, to Nov 19 to Nov 5 and ended up with August 27, 2011. My 9 months just got slashed by a month.

So the date is set and we are learning to love it. I mean, Nashville is hot in August but thankfully we will be indoors all day with views of outside.

As all this was happening, I am trying to save money already. Even before the date was set we were thinking about colors and save the dates and how it will all work.

A vision is very important, not just for the look of the wedding but also the cost. I always think about rentals, the sneaky little cost that you are never prepared for. So knowing how much a table and linens and chairs cost, I surveyed the reception room and came up with a color scheme that led us to our theme. 

They have red chairs in the ballroom. They offer black and white linens. So there, black table cloths, white napkins draped, red flowers. We colors, now a theme. We love movies, so Film Noir made sense. Once that was agreed upon, I started on the design for the save the dates.

Talked to a friend, last minute, about shooting the pictures for us. They came out amazing. They are like the pictures are frames of a film. Very classy and cool. Very Film Noir. The save the dates were then designed on Vistaprint, for free and are on their way.

We are Engaged!

As a wedding planner, I have watched hundreds of happy couples plan the beginning of their lives. It began to get a bit difficult to watch people in so much bliss not worry about their budget and just go with it. My job was to ask the tough questions and set a plan and stick to it.

Even though we had been together for over 4 years and I kept waiting for that ring, when it happened, I was floored. We were on our way to North Carolina for Christmas and stopped at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville N.C. We always past it on our many trips to N.C. and always said we would stop one day. We walked around the grounds for a bit with our two dogs and then headed into the house. Over two hours of walking though opulence, we headed outdoors. It was freezing. Carlos took some pictures with his fancy new camera I got him for his birthday. Then he stated talking about his "perfect day" that happened the week before. I had to go up to NY for my nephews Christening and Carlos was left all alone. It had snowed pretty bad all over the country and he was left on Sunday with snow, beer, wings and his favorite football team playing ( Giants game was snowed out, so the Panthers game came on). He said it was perfect except for one thing, I wasn't there.

At this point, I am like, he is talking really sweet and stuff. He got down on one knee, pulled out the red box and asked me to marry him. I said "Yes, are you kidding." Took off my glove and he slipped the ring on my tiny, cold finger. I felt like David at the dentist (youtube video). It was so surreal and amazing. I cried and then we went to the winery and bought champagne. That was my perfect day.

In this blog you will follow me as I, a wedding planner, plan my own wedding. How I will stick to a budget. How do I handle certain situations. Call in favors and most of all keep everything on track. I have already started the process and it is not easy being on the other side. Stay tuned for more postings...